Yup I'm Back! Happy Summer!

Good Monday morning! Everyone survive the harried bustle of getting the kids out the door and spouses off to work? I have my coffee and am all settled in to spend sometime with my friends.

I must admit, I'm not one of those who hates Mondays. After the activity of the weekend I confess I look forward to my quiet Monday morning. I'm very fortunate that I am able to grab my coffee and curl up with my dogs and enjoy the peacefulness of the morning.

I remember summer meaning no schedule for our family. School was done, maybe my younger brother still had baseball for a while into the holidays but he was usually the only one besides my dad of course, who had to be somewhere. It was glorious! Getting up a bit later than usual, calling my best friend and making girl plans. Jam food in, yell goodbye to my mom and I was on my bike and free. 

Everyday was a clean slate, sun shining, freezie money in my pocket for when it got hot, and the world was our oyster... Long bike rides, days hanging out by the dock or the neighbourhood pool. Rarely were we indoors, but even then we were busy colouring our hair, baking some concoction and if we were lucky we could crash at each other's homes and stay up way too late, order pizza and play silly games. 

8 oh so short weeks of self entertainment. No way would my mom have set up a summer schedule. She was busy with my younger siblings so I was expected to be bright enough to call home if we were at my girlfriend's place or if I was going to be late for dinner. My parents didn't organize play dates, or expect to know where I was moment by moment. 

Some summers I was so lucky! Summer camp! 2 glorious weeks away from everything. No phones, no television, no siblings or parents! At camp we learned to shoot .22s and used bows & arrows. But my favorite was the herd of horses. Horse back riding, learning about how to feed and groom the animals. Best of all.. Making life long memories.

Life sure is not the way it was. It appears that children are scheduled year round and families just don't seem to unwind the way we did. Parents feel that they are required to hover and plan every moment of their children's day and this is on top of many parents having to work and fit these schedules into their precious moments of down time. Families seem exhausted. 

Hard to believe that in 2 weeks kids will be running down school halls asking each other what they did this summer. I hope that some kids will be able to say, "I didn't do anything and it was GREAT!". In the next few weeks, please just slow down if you can. Hang out by a river, throw rocks, catch frogs. Before bed check out the night sky and see how many you and your kids can name. Put the schedule away and make some real memories. 

Time for a coffee refill and I'm going to grab a book and enjoy some quiet time this afternoon. Hope your summer is treating you well! I'd love to see pictures of places or things you have done. Maybe I'll even start my next entry started! Cheers everyone! I'm back!

Thinking is Overrated!

Happy weekend my friends and family! Hard to believe we are down to the last quarter of 2015. It's true when they say the older you get, the faster time seems to go.

The leaves are beautiful and the air is crisp now. The weather man has even uttered the nasty 's' word! For crying out loud... I just convinced my husband to take out the last air-conditioned from the bedroom today! I am not ready for Fall.... or... **SNOW** But, alas, as is normal in my world, it just is beyond my control and doesn't matter if I'm ready or not. Life goes on and I'm swept along with the consequences of my situation.

I have been discussing this with several people recently. That loss of control despite preparing for whatever we think is going to happen. We set up schedules, rides, have a friend or family member as back up... but then 'life happens'.

Maybe the situation came unexpectedly, and no matter how prepared, there was no way of really being ready. Maybe your friends couldn't handle the extra 'mile' you needed, or your family had other obligations.

Sometimes when 'life happens' and it seems like a horrible thing, it can actually be a silver lining.  Those fairweather friends show thier true colors, but those near and dear shine bright like a beacon.

These life events teach us so much, and with that comes wisdom and compassion. What was once an overwhelming life event that your family and friends loved and supported you through may one day give you the opportunity to open your arms and heart to someone when 'life happens' to them,because we all know it will no matter how much we try to prepare for it.

Try to keep a soft heart after these situations because no matter what you will be hurt. Don't let that stop you from sharing and helping later on. A few false friends or busy people shouldn't mold you. Maybe 'life' is happening to them at the same time and we just don't see it because we are busy looking at our 'slice of life'.

Above all, speak the truth, but do it not to harm. Be open to people and what they offer you. Try to be slow to judge. And most of all... Life is going to happen... Just try and enjoy it! (told you I was thinking too much! Ha!)

Thank You For Being My Friend...

Good sunny afternoon my friends and family! I hope you are all enjoying these fleeting carefree summer days. All too soon the heat we are grumbling about now will be replaced with frosty mornings and busy schedules! So! Grab a frosty mug of something cold,  put that lawn chair in the shade and let's chat.

Well today is going to be kind of a rant/"what's your opinion? " kind of blog. I've been sick since May, and because of that I have had the 'pleasure' of spending many hours sitting in the ER waiting room or in a hospital bed. Other times I'm enjoying the company of other people requiring the expertise of the nursing staff as we all line up for iv medications for varying ailments. (by the way... nurses are saints! This is not a pick on nurses blog.. EVER!)

During all this quality hospital time I  noticed that patients all kind of bond with each other as we started seeing each other day after day. At first it's, "So, what brings you here?"... Then someone eavesdropping a couple chairs down has to top your illness with something cool like a black widow spider bite! (true story! Really gross!) Ha! Pretty soon you all have cell phones out sharing pictures and Facebook pages and you feel like wow! I've really hit it off with someone who gets me! I've made a friend!

Now.... here's where my rant is about to kick in because while I was also in the hospital I also had several conversations with people who were terribly upset by their 'friends'... some they had even know since childhood. These were people who knew each other's deepest darkest secrets and now they were having these terrible arguments while they were in the hospital and needed each other the most.

Lots of people felt very isolated from
family and friends. People who they felt should have been the most supportive and understanding were suddenly 'too busy' to talk or drop by. Some family members were challenging the 'reality' of the suffering the patient was complaining about or the reality of the actual diagnosis.

I don't get it. Why is a friendship based on good times? We all have valleys in life and rest assured you will be much happier to know that the people who you have over for backyard BBQs and sit and watch movies with or share neighborhood gossip with will also be the people who will be there to hug you and sit and listen when life has you down.

Why are we sitting alone in hospitals sharing our fears and pain with total strangers? Why are our nearest and dearest too busy... too tired of us and our situation... What needs to change? I know we need to educate each other... patient and friends... be honest... talk to each other. Not behind each other's backs. It's not easy, but hurting each other is harder. One awkward conversation being open can save a relationship and who knows... Maybe next time we meet at the hospital, you won't be sitting talking to me... You'll be laughing with your bestie!

As a closing note, before my hubby reads this and has hurt feelings, I have to say I am extremely lucky as he usually drives me and stays with me as often as he is able to. He also listens to me whine and complain but we also have learned that every opportunity that I am well we are out the door and enjoying each other's company. He puts up with my goofiness and hands me a tissue when I'm teary. He really is my best friend. SHMILY

I'd love to hear from you all about how you get through the good and bad days. Leave a comment or email me! Enjoy your day and treasure your special family and friends!

Merry Christmas!

All is wrapped, the stockings are filled, the fridge is finally stocked with the turkey and all the fixings.

My husband and I spent all Christmas eve running those last minute errands that should have only taken a few hours but as we are finally climbing into I realize those errands and chores took almost 8 hours! Every year I tell myself I will be much more organized... much more on top of the festivities, no more of this last minute hustle and bustle and running around. More like I was before I had kids! Or Fibro... Or R/A... "

My Christmas cards (with letter) were written and mailed by Dec. 1, decorations were up the first week and baking was done all month as needed for different school or church activities. Shopping was finished before the snow flew! (it was almost a dare between me & mother nature! Ha!) sigh... What happened to that me?



Now after the presents have been opened, all the food has been cooked and eaten and the kids have scattered around to their friends to compare loot, I now have a chance to take 'stock' of the past month. How well did we do even though there weren't cookies made(Yikes! Store bought!), or no cards mailed (sorry if you got an email or I call you personally this week instead!). Even the crazy Christmas eve shopping was fun. I enjoyed spending the time with my hubby with the challenges of those last minute ideas.

I am so grateful for everyone in my house. Over time our family has grown and we now have an 'adopted' son who has moved in with us(a friend of our middle son) and there are girlfriends and of course the furry family members. Every one in my house gets into the spirit of the season and helps out.




From decorating, cooking, cleaning and of course....


EATING! Yummmmm!

So, at the end of the end of this wonderful Christmas day, after all the hustle and bustle and running around. After realizing that I am definitely not the organized woman I was in years past I have come to the conclusion that I love my family very much, and I love my husband even more. He is a very remarkable guy! I am extremely glad to know that my family loves just being together and that the other stuff that I was stressing about just isn't that important. And I guess that means I have some super awesome boys under my roof.

My Boys, Alex, Matt, Will & Jeff

 

Merry Christmas to all my friends & family! Hope you are enjoying the season with all your heart's desires and may love & laughter fill your homes!

Changes...

Good morning friends. I hope you are all enjoying the warm days and long, lazy evenings.

I can not believe how quickly this summer has slid through the hour glass of time. Seems like yesterday that my husband & I dropped off my youngest to go to Cadet Camp for the summer, but it's already been 3 weeks.

Then this past weekend we drove down to visit him & to celebrate his 16th birthday. It's so beautiful in the mountains where these kids are! We had a great time canoeing, shopping & eating!



But July has been a seemingly endless stream of life changes for me and for a lot of people I love & care about.

My 'baby' sister started a new job recently, moved & announced that they are expecting their 3rd little rug rat! I am so excited to being an auntie again!

This Spring seemed to be a big deciding season for both my mom & my in-laws as they both decided to sell their homes. This has been huge changes for everyone. My in-laws have been in that home for over 27 years and my mom has been in her home for over 14 years. A lot of memories & love fill those homes, and it's a difficult decision to make. Both ironically put their homes up for sale within days of eachother and this month they all moved within a couple weeks of eachother.



Also putting a 'For Sale' sign up and moving this month is my bestie. We have been neighbors and friends for over 13years & while I am so very excited for them (wow! They have a beautiful new home! I'm hiding in one of the boxes and moving with them!) I am going to miss them very much. From spying on neighbors (Wooo... Did you see the new furniture so & so got delivered?), complaining about barking dogs (never mine of course! Ha!), impromptu bbq's, borrowed kidney beans & teasing our kids and spouses, I am going to miss that all very much. We have shared a very special time in our lives that only neighbors/friends can and I am so glad I shared it with you Bestie! I will miss seeing all of you but I am very glad you won't be that far away!

And last but not least... after much soul searching and debating. Lots of should we... Nooo.... Maybe?.... Yaaaaa?.. I dunno.... To finally YUP!!!!! I am happy to introduce our newest member to the family... Koda! He is a 6.5 week old blue heeler /labradoodle and just a bundle of love. Potty training is going well but my hubby and I miss our sleep. Ha! And the other 2 dogs aren't all that thrilled with baby brother yet. It will come... Right? Ha! But I welcome any hints or tips for training him. It's been a while since I have had a puppy so I am always open to new suggestions. Just leave a comment below! Or email me:-)

Changes... When we are young we are so anxious to for things to change. As parents we often catch ourselves wishing that they would just grow up. We fight change.. dread change, anticipate it... And at the end of the day, change happens.

2013 has been such a year of changes for me and for those around me. Graduation, moves, baby, new jobs... And it's only the end of July folks! So I say let's grab a nice cold margarita, pull up a lawn chair, and just be glad I'm not moving today! Heehee! Love you Bestie! (wonder who's going to be spying on your stuff going in today?)

Thank You For Being You!!

Wow!! Its June!! Switching those warm mugs to cool lemonade or ice tea and cool evenings by fire pits and star gazing. Kids are getting ansy to finish those last few weeks of 'torture' and be released to ride bikes, swim in pools and enjoy the outdoor freedom that only those warm carefree summer days seem to allow us.

I myself LOVE summer!! I hate schedules! (much to my husband's chagrin...) Lucky for me I guess that its rare I have to be anywhere or do anything for a certain time. This past weekend was a great testament to that. My wonderful Aunt flew in to help celebrate my birthday. My husband was out of town visiting his family, my kids are all self sufficient...so it was just the 2 of us!!

First off, you have to understand, we do not have a 'typical' aunt/niece relationship. I call her Auntie when I want her to feel really OLDDDDDDDD...heeeheee!!!!! She and I have a very special friendship for which I am eternally grateful for. Its a rare jewel indeed to have someone who you can ask advice from, have just stupid fun with, and is also related to you!! 

I remember when I was a kid and asking my mom how come she didn't have lots of friends. I thought geez...as kids we always had a big group of friends, why wouldn't parents also have the same thing?? Mom said its hard to have a family and maintain friendships when you get older. I thought meh...no way...not going to happen to me!!

My Oldest son Alex with a gang of his friends!

Well...now I'm'older' and have a family of my own. I was diagnosed 6 years ago with my rheumatoid arthritis and since then I have noticed a big change in our family and friendships. Its been definitely harder to maintain relationships the way we used to, and many have just fallen to the way side. One sad  truth I've noticed is that many people don't know how to deal with illness, especially when its invisible.

That's one of the greatest thing about my aunt. She has obviously known me all my life, so she knew me before I was sick and since I have been sick. We have been friends through it all. No games, no pretenses. We have laughed and cried together. Been honest when it hurt. Shopped til we dropped, and drank til we should have stopped way earlier...(thanks Bruno...lol)

So to the younger me I say...enjoy the group of teenage friends! Some will keep in touch over the
years, help reminisce and remind you of all the stupid things you did and make you wonder how you made it to adulthood!! And now...as some days I struggle and wonder where all those friends went, I realize what my mom said was true. It is hard to maintain both family and friendships at the best of times.

So thank you  Berta!!! I had such an AWESOME weekend!! No schedules...lots of shopping...lots of laughter...lots of honest talking....and margaritas!!!Weeeeeee!!!! Thank you for letting me just be me. For letting my boys just be themselves and loving us anyways! Thanks for coming for my birthday!

But most of all...thank you for those rocking sandals!! 

I Miss My Bestie!!

Hi everyone!! No I'm not dead...just feeling a wee bit over whelmed. Life seems to rush by sometimes and I feel like I am in the exhaust fumes right now and have no idea where my days have gone. But I have grabbed my tea and plan on enjoying a few moments with my friends.

So a quick update on my unwanted guests! After my cleaning and searching we seemed to have found their 'door way' into the house. So we jammed it full of poison (YES poison, all you environmentalists can comment later, and then come scrub cupboards after your comments!!) and sealed it up. Laid a few traps in front of the hole, snapped a few unfortunate victims (sorry dudes...really I am) and FYI boys...mom REALLY didn't need to see the bodies! and we seem to be rodent free. Yeah us!!

On Friday I was playing away on my computer as I am known to do,when I heard we were expecting a huge snow storm. Not a big deal  in Feb. usually but we have had such an incredible winter and it honestly was starting to feel like Spring. In fact a couple days earlier my son and I drove by one of the ranches near us and I saw a baby calf in the field which is my 'official' sign of Spring. So snowstorm seemed unreal to us.in fact I believe our last one was in Nov! )

It was to start late Friday afternoon....nothing....Friday evening...nothing...my Bestie and I thought haha!! Maybe it will miss us. Which would be great because they were leaving for vacation on Sunday. So off to bed we all went with nary a flake in sight

 

 Well Saturday morning I looked out my window....HOLY CRAP! That was a serious amount of snow. Now before all you Easteners start telling me how you get ten feet of snow in an afternoon yadda yadda...I am just saying we went from NONE all winter to almost as high as the windows on my F-150 once the guys finished shoveling. And that took almost all weekend because it came down Foomp! over night then didn't let up til Sunday.

So my Bestie and her family shoveled a bit that Saturday, finished packing their shorts and bathing suits, and drove off early Sunday morning before the winter sun had poked over the horizon. She left me the key to her house to feed and love the kitties, but I think in all fairness if she left me behind in all this cold and snow I should do something evil to the house like bring over some of my unwanted guests.(Insert evil laugh!!)


But seriously..I hope she and her family are having a carefree wonderful time frolicking on the beach drinking fancy drinks in coconuts and pineapples. And I hope she's having one for me!! And while I bet she looks like this dancing on the beach I will continue to try and keep myself entertained until she comes back!! I miss ya Bestie!!!

New Friends...New Adventures...

Good afternoon and where in the world did January go?? I've had a bit of a bump this past week with a fibro flare (my body apparently thought sleep was over rated) just at the same time as I decided to jump feet first into my doggie treat business! I have been pleasantly surprised by the positive feedback and the amount of orders coming in. So I have been busy in the kitchen baking doggie treats in lots of different sizes and flavors. If you are interested...email me at herbalhounds@gmail.com for flavors and pricing. Okay...enough self selling for today...ha! On to my deep musing that struck my this past week.

Because of my illnesses I have been home for long time now. I get fatigued very easily, and a lot of times the very act of getting ready to go out tires me out to the point of not wanting to go out. I have a few good friends who understand and compensate for my illness. My Bestie held Christmas dinner for me as I slept through most of Christmas day. Most people would have kept me a plate...she kept me a hug and we all ate together. But she is the exception to the rule. 

Over time my only real social outlet has become my computer. I've joined some awesome R/A support groups and met some very understanding  and caring people. People just like me going through very similar circumstances. We are all struggling with pain issues, medication issues, we share info on what works for us, what didn't work. And as time has creeped by I have been fortunate enough to have made a few great connections to some wonderful people I call friend. 

And this is where the musings begin.  My spouse  of almost 21 years  has had a hard time accepting the fact that I can be making what he considers 'real' friends online. He does not  comprehend how people who have never met  face to face can actually share a real friendship bond. He keeps saying that people can be lying. Just saying what they think I want to hear etc. And he's right, there are people like that, even in 'real' life situations.  But for him a real friend goes out for coffee, or grabs a movie with you. 

I try to explain to him how society has changed. Even for people who have the privilege of having a great friend next door or working in the same office, a lot of times they still probably spend most of their time conversing over a text message. And to top it off, how often have you gone out with friends and had them texting while you were visiting. Its just how things go now. Its not perfect, and I think we as adults have to teach our children a form of cell phone edict, which is hard because we are still learning how to deal with it ourselves. But I digress...ha! Not surprising....

So...whats your opinions, if you care to share them? I know I am blessed to have readers young and old...and from all over the world. Do you believe you can foster great friendships online?  Or are you old school and believe that most people lie online about themselves and so the friendships are just hollow. I know I'm 'new' school. I've met lots of really nice people and made one very special friend. I've heard as you grow older if you have one treasured friend you are very lucky. Well, I know I have lots of treasure then and I love each and every one of you.

So hope you are all well and looking forward to the end of winter. Enjoy your afternoon and I'm looking forward to your opinions on this friendship poll!

Friends

Good evening everyone and welcome to my kitchen table. I hope you all had a wonderful weekend running around getting those 'Honey Do' lists done and for you keeners, I bet some of you even whittled away on your Christmas lists too. My guys got all our winter wood cut (with the help of our awesome neighbor!!) and the lights up on the house. For us, this is way ahead of the game this year!

Well, to be honest, I didn't do anything this weekend. I was very fortunate to have all my guys home and willing to do all the hard work. I really wasn't feeling well, but this stuff needs to get done. So out they went. 2 truck loads later, 8 hours of cutting and stacking and Saturday was all used up. Sunday was used up running errands and putting up Christmas lights on our house and on the neighbor's house. Thank goodness the 2 guys work so well together!!

Sometimes I think we take our neighbors for granted. We have lived in  this neighborhood for almost 13 years. Our friends moved in shortly after us. We have shared birthdays and holidays in each other's homes. We have seen our kids grow up, gone to kids concerts, helped each other renovate ( and renovate and renovate...ha!!) We have laughed together, cried together. Shared wonderful news with each other, and hugged each other over devastating life changes.

The guys have dubbed themselves 'The 2am Buddies'. The meaning behind that is that no matter what happens, they know they can call each other, day or night. I'm very fortunate that I know I can call on my girlfriend the same way. I think of how many times she has invited me out or invited me over since I have been sick. So many times I have had to turn her down and she has been so gracious about it and has never bailed on me. She has been one of the few people who has genuinely wanted to learn about my illnesses and how she can help. When she asks how I am, she really wants to know.

 I think of how fortunate my husband and I are to have such wonderful neighbors who are also such awesome friends. The guys are such goof balls and have such a great time together. When either of them has a job to do, no matter the size, the other is there with tool belt on and cold beer in hand. My girlfriend and I are parked on our 'drinking decks' with our wonderful slushies (courtesy of my girlfriend!) laughing at our silly guys. (And FYI...the guys built both drinking deck!)

So thank you to my awesome neighbors! Let me take this opportunity to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you both do! Now guys...lets get my bathroom done!! heehee!!
And how about you? I want to hear about your neighbors...the good,the bad,the ugly!!! Ha!!!